If you are interested in reviews with a optimistic outlook, I regret to inform you this is not one. Not only is the reviewer extremely sarcastic, but is bitter and cynical beyond belief. There is no positive ending, no positive beginning and very few positive comments in the middle.
The Bad Beginning Part One: The first and worst chapter of the Baudelaire’s abysmal existence. Their parents meet a fiery end, while they’re at the beach, and they are placed in the care of Count Olaf. The anti hero. The bad guy. The villain. Villain is a word which here means person who schemes evil plots to obtain the fortune of three unlucky but wealthy orphans. But the real villain at work here is the pilot being the worst episode of the series.
Synopsis: Very Fiery Debut
The Miserable Mill Part One: At this point in time, we’ve answered how the Baudelaires will react to child marriage, abuse and kidnapping, it’s time to explore child labour and hypnotism. Count Olaf reunites with an old flame and tries a new approach to robbing the three children of their money. In this episode, the Baudelaires adjust to a life with no books, no free will and no seperate bedrooms. Is a life without your own inventing workshop worth living? No. It’s not worth watching either.
Synopsis: Vastly Frugal Doctor
The Wide Window Part One: I’m rationally repelled by the pacing of this episode. The wide window brings peppermints, sea (or at least large lake) captains and a multitude of grammar lessons. Unfortunatley, the great ideas don’t kick in until part two, but “you can’t lock up the barn after the horses are gone”. Right, Lem?
Synopsis: Visibly Fake Disguises
The Wide Window Part Two: It can’t be that the Baudelaires gave themselves severe allergic reactions on purpose. It can’t be that Klaus has enough upper arm strength to survive the house dangling off the cliff. It can’t be that they can quote Haruki Murakami but think stealing sailboats during hurricanes is a good idea. The mixed logic and lack of a sense of humour these children possess continues to baffle me. As Lemony says, we’re all allergic to something, I’m allergic to the dullness of the Baudelaires and fictional bankers.
Synopsis: Various Fishy Devices
The Bad Beginning Part Two: This episode is where things take a bit of a darker turn with the whole child marriage plot and Lemony’s dry narrations. Figuratively, this episode is the light to the end of the tunnel that was part one. Literally, it was a better comedy-drama than we’re all used to. This episode makes me want to literally jump for joy, but I’m saving my energy for the top three episodes.
Synopsis: Validly Funny Dramatics
The Reptile Room Part One: This episode was a conundrum of strange schedules and screeching iguanas. Mr Poe is still kicking about, much to most of the audience’s dismay, as if the series wasn’t unfortunate enough. Though, a collection of cold blooded animals and a trip to the cinema (something which will fill all movie lovers with a nostalgic feeling. Remember the days when you could watch films outside the parameters of your house? No, me either) make this episode less woeful than the average first part.
Synopsis: Virtually Flawless Division
The Miserable Mill Part Two: There was no happy ending, not here and not now. There might have been if they hadn’t included a montage of Lemony and Mr Poe singing to a musical number that’s deader than Beatrice. Timing has never been the series strong point though, so I’ll rule it down to a cheesy season one finale. Aside from that, The Miserable Mill Part Two had many positives; Klaus attempting to murder people was the most interesting thing he ever did and Georgina’s villainy was on fire.
Synopsis: Violently Fatal Decisions
The Reptile Room Part Two:The only thing off about this episode was that Jacquelyn played the mannequin challenge for 24 hours, in a lifetime’s worth of bronzer, instead of rescuing the children from being kidnapped and preventing a few murders. I still have a few questions about that. But apart from that issue, “Goodness! Golly! Good God! Blessed Allah! Zeus and Hera! Mary and Joseph! Nathaniel Hawthorne!” this was a good episode.
Synopsis: Voluminously Fetching Development
Overall opinion: Valuably Formidable Drama